Dr. Skrap's Completely Worthless Horoscopes (March 28 - April 10)

Aries 3/21-4/19 
You find it increasingly frustrating to hear co-workers argue philosophies that don’t have common sense on their side. You can understand why they get more and more fervent about their stances. Where there aren’t facts to back up their arguments, all they have control of is their volume.

Taurus 4/20-5/20 
The neighbors will be raking their yard while you’re still waiting for the snow to melt from yours. This could be bad or good depending on your persepctive.

Gemini  5/21-6/21 
Winter is finally coming to a close... and those idiots told you you needed snow tires. Now they’ll probably tell you you need a sump pump. Idiots.

Click the title for the rest of Dr. Skrap's Worthless Horoscopes...

Cancer  6/22-7/22 
The answer is smoked pork. You figure out the question.

 Leo  7/23-8/22
It’s amazing how you and your family can all abandon nearly all of the things you gave up for lent on one Easter Brunch!

Virgo  8/23-9/22
Your mother in law is coming to visit, so you’ll want to start putting off work now that you’ll have to come in and do over the weekend.

Libra  9/23-10/22
You sit at the kitchen table with a pile of bills in front of you and wonder what happened to the good old days when all you needed to do to make problems go away was turn up the volume.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Your heart sinks when you see the person you’ve been secretly in love with since junior high school and they’ve put on a few... dozen pounds. The magic is dead. Oh, and like you’re looking any better with your own spare tire there, sexy!

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21 
The feeling is in the air. It’s time to pull out the golf clubs for the year, take out the nine empty beer cans, the stale pack of sunflower seeds that mice have been enjoying all winter and it look like you need to invest in some new range balls.

Capricorn  12/22-1/19
You didn’t much care for working on that part of the year when it was beautiful outside in September. Why the hell would you suddenly want to work on it now?

Aquarius 1/20-2/18
You high schools mates called to tell you they want to get the old band back together. So that means they want to borrow your van again and have you pack up the stuff after each show while they chase girls. Ah... good times.

 Pisces  2/19-3/20
That’s funny. You’d swear that fit just fine when you last wore it in October. The dryer must be broken.

Events & Articles

Live Music Features

Posted on October 10, 2014

Discover more about musicians coming to the area!

Halloween for Adults

Posted on October 09, 2014

Can you believe it?  Halloween is on a Friday this year!  While that means that there are going to be loads of fun Halloween parties that actually fall on October 31, it doesn’t mean you have to wait until the end of the month to start getting your costume-loving, booty-shaking party pants on.  In fact, there are fun Halloween-themed parties and events that are sutiably adult-oriented throughout the month.  Here’s a list to get you started:

Halloween for Families

Posted on October 09, 2014

Halloween is a fun time for kids and adults alike.  Here is a whole grab bag of fun-sized events for the whole family, from now through the end of the month.

Gary Olsen: There Are Places I Remember

Posted By Bryce Parks on September 30, 2014

You’ll be hard pressed to find anyone in Dubuque who has more successfully balanced a creative existence between fine art and graphic design than Gary Olsen. In many ways, the lines are blurred, with many of his best artistic works coming growing out of commissions or charitable purposes and many of his finest commercial design pieces being worthy of framing themselves. It’s pretty difficult to engage actively in the Dubuque community and not encounter a Gary Olsen original design, whether it be a painting hanging in a business or a friends home, or a logo on the side of a vehicle or on a t-shirt. He’s painted, drawn, filmed and crafted his life into the canvas of Dubuque, which is only appropriate as the works he’s created for his latest show are a literal reflection of this community on which he’s made such an impact.

Live Music Features

Posted on September 26, 2014

Discover more about musicians coming to the area!