Dr. Skrap's Completely Worthless Horoscopes (March 28 - April 10)

Aries 3/21-4/19 
You find it increasingly frustrating to hear co-workers argue philosophies that don’t have common sense on their side. You can understand why they get more and more fervent about their stances. Where there aren’t facts to back up their arguments, all they have control of is their volume.

Taurus 4/20-5/20 
The neighbors will be raking their yard while you’re still waiting for the snow to melt from yours. This could be bad or good depending on your persepctive.

Gemini  5/21-6/21 
Winter is finally coming to a close... and those idiots told you you needed snow tires. Now they’ll probably tell you you need a sump pump. Idiots.

Click the title for the rest of Dr. Skrap's Worthless Horoscopes...

Cancer  6/22-7/22 
The answer is smoked pork. You figure out the question.

 Leo  7/23-8/22
It’s amazing how you and your family can all abandon nearly all of the things you gave up for lent on one Easter Brunch!

Virgo  8/23-9/22
Your mother in law is coming to visit, so you’ll want to start putting off work now that you’ll have to come in and do over the weekend.

Libra  9/23-10/22
You sit at the kitchen table with a pile of bills in front of you and wonder what happened to the good old days when all you needed to do to make problems go away was turn up the volume.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Your heart sinks when you see the person you’ve been secretly in love with since junior high school and they’ve put on a few... dozen pounds. The magic is dead. Oh, and like you’re looking any better with your own spare tire there, sexy!

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21 
The feeling is in the air. It’s time to pull out the golf clubs for the year, take out the nine empty beer cans, the stale pack of sunflower seeds that mice have been enjoying all winter and it look like you need to invest in some new range balls.

Capricorn  12/22-1/19
You didn’t much care for working on that part of the year when it was beautiful outside in September. Why the hell would you suddenly want to work on it now?

Aquarius 1/20-2/18
You high schools mates called to tell you they want to get the old band back together. So that means they want to borrow your van again and have you pack up the stuff after each show while they chase girls. Ah... good times.

 Pisces  2/19-3/20
That’s funny. You’d swear that fit just fine when you last wore it in October. The dryer must be broken.

Events & Articles

Toys for Tots: Winter Concert Tour and Stuff the Truck

Posted on November 20, 2014

Winter Concert Tour: November 20-December 22 at locations across the Tri-States

Stuff the Truck: December 6-7 at Theisen's Home • Farm • Auto

Pinot’s Palette

Posted on November 20, 2014

Paint and sip location opens in Dubuque

by Mike Ironside, w/ photos by Mike and Amber Betcher

Imagine hanging out with your friends, sipping on your favorite wine and listening to music while you all create beautiful paintings on canvas. If you’re thinking the only problem with the scenario is that you can’t paint, you might want to think again. Pinot’s Palette, a national leader in the “paint and sip” industry has just opened in Dubuque and the franchise owner Kerry Bowman is here to say that you can do it.

Hotel Julien 12 Days of Christmas

Posted on November 20, 2014

Monday, December 1-Sunday, December 21

In old school holiday tradition, the Hotel Julien Dubuque is celebrating Twelve Days of Chrismas with special events and great offers all season long. Check out the details on the many festive offerings coming your way from the landmark downtown dubuque hotspot!

Roshek Celebrates the Holidays Holiday Decoration Silent Auction

Posted By Mike Ironside on November 20, 2014

Friday, November 21–Friday, December 5

Story by Mike Ironside
Photos by Garth Fuerste

While Dubuque no longer has a big downtown department store decorated inside and out for the holidays with those traditional window displays celebrating the coming of Christmas with a sparkly winter wonderland of toys and other gifts, it does have the Roshek Building, which once served that purpose. For those old enough to remember, Roshek’s Department Store, decked out with Christmas trees and other holiday decorations still exists as fond memories of a more innocent time.

Jubeck New World Brewing

Posted By Mike Ironside on November 06, 2014

“Members got us open. People coming in just buying beer is what’s going to keep us open,” says Jay Jubeck, co-owner and namesake of Dubuque’s first “nano” brewery, Jubeck New World Brewing. It’s an important point. Because Jubeck and his partner Dan Caraway used a fundraising plan based on the CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) model to raise funds to start their CSB (Community Supported Brewery), some people might mistakenly think they are not welcome to stop in and try the beer at the brewery’s tasting room. They couldn’t be further from the truth.