Dr. Skrap's Completely Worthless Horoscopes (March 28 - April 10)

Aries 3/21-4/19 
You find it increasingly frustrating to hear co-workers argue philosophies that don’t have common sense on their side. You can understand why they get more and more fervent about their stances. Where there aren’t facts to back up their arguments, all they have control of is their volume.

Taurus 4/20-5/20 
The neighbors will be raking their yard while you’re still waiting for the snow to melt from yours. This could be bad or good depending on your persepctive.

Gemini  5/21-6/21 
Winter is finally coming to a close... and those idiots told you you needed snow tires. Now they’ll probably tell you you need a sump pump. Idiots.

Click the title for the rest of Dr. Skrap's Worthless Horoscopes...

Cancer  6/22-7/22 
The answer is smoked pork. You figure out the question.

 Leo  7/23-8/22
It’s amazing how you and your family can all abandon nearly all of the things you gave up for lent on one Easter Brunch!

Virgo  8/23-9/22
Your mother in law is coming to visit, so you’ll want to start putting off work now that you’ll have to come in and do over the weekend.

Libra  9/23-10/22
You sit at the kitchen table with a pile of bills in front of you and wonder what happened to the good old days when all you needed to do to make problems go away was turn up the volume.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Your heart sinks when you see the person you’ve been secretly in love with since junior high school and they’ve put on a few... dozen pounds. The magic is dead. Oh, and like you’re looking any better with your own spare tire there, sexy!

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21 
The feeling is in the air. It’s time to pull out the golf clubs for the year, take out the nine empty beer cans, the stale pack of sunflower seeds that mice have been enjoying all winter and it look like you need to invest in some new range balls.

Capricorn  12/22-1/19
You didn’t much care for working on that part of the year when it was beautiful outside in September. Why the hell would you suddenly want to work on it now?

Aquarius 1/20-2/18
You high schools mates called to tell you they want to get the old band back together. So that means they want to borrow your van again and have you pack up the stuff after each show while they chase girls. Ah... good times.

 Pisces  2/19-3/20
That’s funny. You’d swear that fit just fine when you last wore it in October. The dryer must be broken.

Events & Articles

Inclusive Dubuque: Connecting People & Strengthening Community

Posted on January 19, 2015

How can we make Dubuque a more inclusive and equitable community? That is the question local businesses and organizations sought to answer when they came together in October 2013 through the Inclusive Dubuque initiative.

Presentation and Book Signing with The Kindness Diaries Author Leon Logothetis

Posted on January 18, 2015

Monday, January 19 @ 5:30 pm
Grand Harbor Resort, Platinum Room A

by Jeff Lenhart
photos courtesy of Leon Logothetis

Television host, producer, author, traveler, and just an all-around great guy, Leon Logothetis is making a stop in Dubuque on Monday, January 19th, at 5:30 PM at the Grand Harbor Resort & Waterpark in Platinum Room A on the 2nd floor. Logothetis is the author of Amazing Adventures of a Nobody and is promoting his newest book, The Kindness Diaries. Leon will be giving a presentation followed by a book signing. The event is free, but free-will donations are accepted and appreciated for the Dubuque Rescue Mission.

Pura Vida! Yoga Wellness Adventure Retreat

Posted on January 02, 2015

February 16-21, 2015
Costa Rica

Maybe you’re dreading the long Midwestern winter following the excitement of the holidays. Maybe you’ve already had enough of the cold and dark. Or maybe you just need a change, a bit of adventure in your life. Meg Rima of Ignite Power Yoga Studio and Kristina Castaneda of Embody Renegade Wellness offer an enticing opportunity–a yoga and wellness adventure retreat in Costa Rica. Hosted by Peace Retreat in the lush surroundings near Costa Rica’s Playa Negra, the trip is scheduled for February 16–21, 2015 and if you’re already thinking about it the answer is yes, there are still spots open and you can go.

Dubuque Community YMCA/YWCA: So Much More Than You Know

Posted By Bryce Parks on January 02, 2015

With the new year comes new year’s resolutions, and the #1 resolution most people make every year is to get it shape. Maybe people never get past making the resolution itself. Others get a couple weeks in before they give up. Those who make a real effort at it and those who find success doing so, have a plan. Usually that plan includes some kind of connection with an organized health or fitness facility or group. And when you talk about joining “the guy” there’s one place that’s been in the game of making people healthier longer than anyone and that, of course, is the Dubuque Community YMCA/YWCA.

Retro Rewind: Cars & Guitars

Posted By Mike Ironside on January 02, 2015

Saturday, January 10 @ Five Flags
Just when you thought there would be nothing to do in the bleak period that follows the holidays, Retro Rewind comes racing into Five Flags with a full day of “Kustom Kulture” and entertainment. Now in its second year, the event which is subtitled “Cars & Guitars” returns Saturday, January 10 with an arena full of vintage hot rods and motorcycles, classic guitars, and live music from 9 AM–7 PM, followed by an evening concert in the Five Flags Theater starting at 7 PM.