Aries 3/21-4/19
While it’s often said that you need to be yourself, if “yourself” means you’re a 35-year-old My Little Pony fan posting about it on the Internet, it may be time to re-examine your priorities. Especially if you’re a dude.
Taurus 4/20-5/20
Yeah, you screwed up Valentine’s Day, and you got your special someone a bottle of Mad Dog 20 / 20 instead of a nice dinner, flowers and all that. Look on the bright side, though: Now that they’ve left you, the Mad Dog will get you nice and drunk for dirt-cheap.
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